Experience, Married Backpackers, Personal Essay, Travel, Traveler Feature

Happily Married Traveling Solo

Happily Married Traveling Solo

Over mango and sticky rice, as soon as I sensed that things, at least for him, were beginning to lean towards romance, I broke the news:

“I’m married.”

Not only did his face showed confusion, betrayal, shock and catatonia all at once, I also saw how his jaw gave in to gravity.

There are no two ways to go about volunteering information about my civil status to people I meet while traveling solo.

Laying such card on the table on day dot would only open flood gates of questions as to where is my husband or why am I alone or what is wrong with my marriage. So I keep the hint worn on my ring finger hoping that it would explain itself.

Happily Married Traveling Solo - Gili Indonesia
Gili Trawangan, Indonesia

I enjoy traveling with my husband. We agree on food, alcohol, 4-star and up comfort and party music. We do not mind sharing ear phones, toothbrushes and razors when need be. There is no other shoulder I love resting my head on, on long bus and plane rides than his. We look good together in photos.

But when I gave my whole self to him in marriage, he allowed— nay, insisted— that I retain the very strength which drawn him to my love spell: my individuality.

I get to earn, keep and spend my own money. I get to have a womancave— a spare room where I house books, cameras and all other armaments necessary for my Writing. Most of all, I am free to travel solo, mostly to places that are poetry-inducing to my muse but a little rough and rowdy for his taste.

Happily Married Traveling Solo - El Nido
Coron, Philippines. (Photo credit: Jessie Rose B. Austria)

1. When I travel solo, I get to make friends.

In real life, I suck at social interactions. Familiarity is something that I am unnaturally accustomed to just bestow on anyone.

On the road, I am able to breathe with less pressure attached to name, stature, and the expectation of long-term comradeships. As a result, I get to relish in conversations with people of like minds without necessitating small talk such as dipping a finger on a neighbour’s business.

Happily Married Traveling Solo - Halong Bay
Halong Bay, Vietnam

2. Unspoken rule of the road: three is a crowd.

When traveling as a couple, everybody assumes that couples are single units that need to be left alone. Whilst that is true in most cases, it is never bad to have company– a third perspective during mealtime banters or 1PM beer sessions.

With solo travel, I get to have x number of street food buddies, beach bum girlfriends, and beer pong mates.

Happily Married Traveling Solo - Luang Prabang Laos
Luang Prabang, Laos

3. Solo travel affords me to be by myself; with myself.

Solitude is a physiologic need to those who, like me, are slaves of the written word. Such is the reason why writers get up at 2AM.

When I embark on trips by myself, it’s 2AM all the time. Not only do I get to do what I love, I also get to do what I do best.

Happily Married Traveling Solo - Penang
Penang, Malaysia

4. Am I always responsible of the freedom that my husband gives me? Not necessarily.

Travel creates a backdrop that blurs out the insignificant and zooms in the interesting. It filters in all that is wonderful; funnelling endorphins down the throats of magnified emotions.

Back to the mango and sticky rice business: it was always possible to gravitate towards certain personalities. It still is.

But this is where the best use of me preaching individuality comes in: If I ever screw up, it is all on me, and not in any way a reflection of my husband’s flaws as my better half. Because he has none.

Happily Married Traveling Solo - Auckland New Zealand
Auckland, New Zealand

5. Coming home is always a good idea.

When Jonathan dropped me off at the airport on my first solo trip as Mrs. Campanilla three years ago, I realised that his desire for my happiness sat over and above his own.

Every day since, I carried that with me with so much appreciation, admiration, and everlasting love.

Whilst I go away for myself, I always come back home for him; to him.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

~*~

This post has also been published on Thought Catalog.

Published by Rain Campanilla

Born under the star of Sagittarius, the centaur of adventure; and in the year of the Rat, the ever curious--- Travel is my birthright.

30 thoughts on “Happily Married Traveling Solo”

  1. Reiza Dejito says:

    Awwww . . . you and Jonat are beyond admiration. I am a fan. 🙂

  2. Reiza Dejito says:

    Awwww . . . you and Jonat are beyond admiration. I am a fan. 🙂

  3. Pandelicious says:

    Hey you gorgeous Wanderer! Props for always lookin hella fine on photos.
    It can get pretty annoying how other travelers feel like they can pry on your personal life. Like asking WHO are you, WHERE are you from, WUTS yer deal. It feels intrusive, what more if they ask yo, where the hubby at and youre forced on this long diatribe. Next time just say No habla ingles 😛

  4. Pandelicious says:

    Hey you gorgeous Wanderer! Props for always lookin hella fine on photos.
    It can get pretty annoying how other travelers feel like they can pry on your personal life. Like asking WHO are you, WHERE are you from, WUTS yer deal. It feels intrusive, what more if they ask yo, where the hubby at and youre forced on this long diatribe. Next time just say No habla ingles 😛

  5. Ron Cruz says:

    apir tayo dyan. salamat sa mga asawa natin na di baliw baliwan.

  6. Ron Cruz says:

    apir tayo dyan. salamat sa mga asawa natin na di baliw baliwan.

  7. Rain Campanilla says:

    Awww, the feeling is mutual, Reiza doll! We are your fans too!

  8. Rain Campanilla says:

    Awww, the feeling is mutual, Reiza doll! We are your fans too!

  9. Rain Campanilla says:

    True! Sometimes I tell them my name is Bogart. LOL

  10. Rain Campanilla says:

    True! Sometimes I tell them my name is Bogart. LOL

  11. Rain Campanilla says:

    There can only be one baliw in a household, Ron. Law of nature 😀

  12. Rain Campanilla says:

    There can only be one baliw in a household, Ron. Law of nature 😀

  13. lamyerda says:

    Happy Valentines Day Rain! Sayang nde tau nagkita nung nag KL ka. Love the photos! <3

  14. lamyerda says:

    Happy Valentines Day Rain! Sayang nde tau nagkita nung nag KL ka. Love the photos! <3

  15. Alana Margaret says:

    I love this! My husband and I do most of our traveling together but I’m hoping to get in some more solo travel this year.

  16. Alana Margaret says:

    I love this! My husband and I do most of our traveling together but I’m hoping to get in some more solo travel this year.

  17. Rain Campanilla says:

    Thank you Riz! Sayang nga. There’s always a next time. Plus, you are lucky to be living in one of Asia’s major travel hubs. Melaka tayo sa May? 😀

  18. Rain Campanilla says:

    Thank you Riz! Sayang nga. There’s always a next time. Plus, you are lucky to be living in one of Asia’s major travel hubs. Melaka tayo sa May? 😀

  19. Rain Campanilla says:

    Thank you Alana! Let me know once you’ve travelled solo! It’s not the same as with being the loves of our lives, but interesting nonetheless!

  20. Rain Campanilla says:

    Thank you Alana! Let me know once you’ve travelled solo! It’s not the same as with being the loves of our lives, but interesting nonetheless!

  21. Cali_Babe21 says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years. I love him to bits, but we would both go crazy if we had to do EVERYTHING together. It sounds like you and your husband have a very healthy relationship. /Mia

  22. Cali_Babe21 says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years. I love him to bits, but we would both go crazy if we had to do EVERYTHING together. It sounds like you and your husband have a very healthy relationship. /Mia

  23. Well Planned Travel says:

    I am taking my first solo trip since I got married two years ago. Thanks for the encouragement.

  24. Well Planned Travel says:

    I am taking my first solo trip since I got married two years ago. Thanks for the encouragement.

  25. Rain Campanilla says:

    You are welcome! Enjoy your first solo travel as a missus! m/

  26. Rain Campanilla says:

    You are welcome! Enjoy your first solo travel as a missus! m/

  27. Rain Campanilla says:

    Hi Mia! That is very sweet of you <3 I'm glad to learn that you also get to keep yourself whilst being in a committed relationship <3

  28. Rain Campanilla says:

    Hi Mia! That is very sweet of you <3 I'm glad to learn that you also get to keep yourself whilst being in a committed relationship <3

  29. Annette Munkejord says:

    Were well put. Me to am in a long time relationship and every now and then I travel solo. I like this solitude because it gives a completely new way of looking at things and places. A different but good way to explore

  30. Rain Campanilla says:

    Hello Annette! Could not agree more! Happy Travels 🙂

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